v9d4jL2fsPMexad5H7crW05kRfo LIFE STINKS: Top 5 Most Weird Medieval Deaths

Friday, August 2, 2013

Top 5 Most Weird Medieval Deaths

What is the greatest universal ultimate truth? Yes the truth is that death is an unavoidable calamity. Woody Allen had said, “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.” It is not only him but each and everyone of us also have the same opinion about death. What do people wish for the most? Yes, people wish for money, health, love, and success but most importantly we wish to die in a peaceful manner. Many people will not admit it openly but we all know that it is the truth. Are you a fan of the "Final Destination" franchise? If yes, then you will know that death is not only inevitable but it is also damn cruel. No one wants to be a part of real life Final Destination. Death not only ends life but strange and weird deaths can also cause severe embarrassment. For example, imagine this scenario, a soldier returns from the war to his hometown and dies from a falling coconut that hit him on his head. The soldier not only suffered a weird death but death also stole the glory of a soldier from him. We know that medieval period was famous for Wars and violence but do you know that this period is also well-known for some strange and weird deaths.

1. Edward II of England

Edward II is regarded as the most incompetent ruler of England. Why? Because his rule was marked by political squabbling and a series of military defeats. If this wasn't enough to turn his reign disastrous, he is also rumoured to have been bisexual. Isabella of France was his queen and due to some political as well as personal reasons she left Edward II in 1325 and went back to France. There she joined hands with her lover Roger Mortimer and invaded England in 1326. Edward II was defeated in the battle and was captured by his own queen and her lover. Immediately after his abdication in January 1327, Edward II was first imprisoned at Kenilworth Castle. He was subjected to a series of torments which included being starved and thrown into a pit full of rotting corpses. They tried to kill him indirectly with all these horrible methods but as Edward was a strong man, he survived it and in April, he was transferred to Berkeley Castle, Gloucestershire. After surviving many more horrible treatments in this castle, he was finally murdered on 21 September 1327. How? It is rumoured that on this unfortunate day an assassin of Isabella and Mortimer entered his cell and held him down and inserted a red-hot iron poker into his rectum through a drenching horn. It is believed that the agonising screams of Edward was heard for miles around. Edward was murdered in such a horrible manner because his enemies wanted the world to believe that he had died of natural causes.

2. Sigurd Eysteinsson

Sigurd Eysteinsson who is also popularly known as "Sigurd the Mighty" was the second Viking Earl of Orkney. He died in a bizarre manner solely because of his stupidity. It is more appropriate to say that he was killed by a dead man. How? According to the Orkneyinga Saga, Sigurd challenged his enemy Máel Brigte to a 40-man-a-side battle. I don't know why the historians call Sigurd a mighty warrior but for me he was a coward. Why? Because in this battle against Máel Brigte, he treacherously brought 80 men instead of 40. Máel knew that he had been betrayed and fought valiantly but ultimately he was slayed and beheaded by Sigurd the mighty. He strapped the head of Máel to his saddle as a trophy and embarked upon his journey back to his homelands. Everything was fine for this mighty warrior but as the journey progressed, Máel Brigte's buck-tooth scratched his leg and broke the skin. At this point, as Sigurd was basking in his glory, he either didn't observed it or didn't took it seriously but after a few days the wound became infected and the mighty warrior died. As, Máel was indirectly responsible for this bizarre death, he is also known as Máel Brigte the Bucktoothed.

3. Caliph Al-Musta’sim

Al-Musta'sim Billah was the last Abbasid Caliph in Baghdad. In 1242, he became the ruler of Abbasid domain after the death of his father. The greatest resistance to his power came when the Mongol forces led by Hulagu Khan invaded Abbasid domain in 1258. Caliph Al-Musta’sim not only failed to raise an army but he also failed to negotiate with Hulagu. This failure cost him dearly as Baghdad was sacked by the Mongols and he was captured alive. The mongols were a superstitious people and believed that spilling royal blood would bring bad luck. Do you remember Game of Thrones, season 1, Khal Drogo killing Viserys without spilling any blood by pouring molten gold over Viserys head? If you think bloodless murder can't be performed in any other manner then you are wrong. Why? Because Hulagu killed Caliph by rolling him in a rug and trampling him to death with his horses. Some of his sons were also killed in this brutal bloodless manner. I think Viserys and Caliph are not familiar with each other but one thing is definitely common between them, they both not only died in weird manner but they also experienced the terrible agony associated with a bloodless murder.

4. Martin of Aragon

Martin of Aragon is also known as "Martin the Elder" was the king of Aragon from 1396 to 1410. Have you ever heard about "death from laughter"? No, then have you heard about "laughter is the best medicine"? Yes, everyone knows about this but do you know that sometimes too much laughter can turn lethal. There are many historical deaths attributed to laughter. You can check them out later but before that do you want to know how Martin of Aragon died? Martin was a die hard foodie and he had the habit of gorging on an entire goose which often resulted in indigestion. In 1410, when Martin was dining in his castle in Barcelona, his favourite Jester Borra came. Martin asked the jester where he had been, to which the Jester replied, "Out of the next vineyard, where I saw a young deer hanging by his tail from a tree, as if someone had so punished him for stealing figs." This answer was so hilarious to the king that he burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. The king laughed so hard that something inside him literally burst and he died. So, it was concluded that Martin had died from a lethal combination of indigestion and uncontrollable laughing. Do you find it funny? Go on laugh your way to death.

5. Béla I of Hungary

He was also known as Béla I the Champion or the Bison because of his brute strength. He was the King of Hungary from 1060 but he ruled for only a brief period of three years. Why? Because he died in a bizarre accident. How? Béla's father was a cousin of the First King of Hungary. So, after his father's death, he was forced to leave the country. During exile, he gained the title of "the champion" and came back to Hungary in 1060 and defeated King Andrew I to become the new king. Béla became the new king but with that he also made several political enemies. In 1063, while Béla was sitting on his wooden throne, it suddenly collapsed and he died. Weird, bizarre, and tragic death for a champion. Many historians believe that this wasn't an freak accident but was a cleverly executed assassination.


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